When I read Doris Lessing's Children of Violence series I was shocked by how connected I felt to the main character. Martha Quest suffers a discord between her private and public or internal and external self. The external, public version is all fabrication- a defense or blind. Discarding "Matty" (the external) is traumatizing and requires a concentrated and focused decision to do so. I think that probably everyone experiences this to some extent. It seems like all the important questions in art revolve around this process of disbanding the false and supporting the genuine. The biggest question in my work these days revolves around decision making. When the external has been in place for so long how do you even know which decisions are guided by the genuine? Aesthetic decisions, to me, seem very connected to the false, external. But then when working with a visual medium what does it mean to disregard aesthetic decisions?